a cannon free site based on an alternative bleach reality.
 
HomeCalendarFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in
HEY EVERYONE! WE HAVE MOVED TO A NEW SITE. VISIT US HERE AT bleacheternalstrife.proboards.com !!!!!
Log in
Username:
Password:
Log in automatically: 
:: I forgot my password
Quick Links
 Stat System Guide
 Plot
 Character Templates
 Site Rules
 Our Ad
 Staff Members
 Stat Resources
 New Posts
testing
Latest topics
» Naruto Mirage - Where Everyone is Family.
Mon Aug 13, 2012 2:20 am by luxin

» Erica/Opera Ghost
Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:38 am by Opera Ghost

» FFWorldz!
Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:16 am by Luck Prochainezo

» FFWorldz!
Sun Nov 06, 2011 4:15 am by Luck Prochainezo

» Shinigami Ranks and Request
Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:35 am by Xcution

» hey
Sat Aug 13, 2011 7:18 am by Xcution

» garda jezioro apartamenty
Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:24 pm by Guest

» dzwirzyno noclegi z psem
Wed Aug 03, 2011 2:37 am by Guest

» Rosemary
Tue Aug 02, 2011 3:53 pm by Guest

Poll
What is your favorite anime division?
Division 1
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Division 2
9%
 9% [ 2 ]
Division 3
4%
 4% [ 1 ]
Division 4
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Division 5
9%
 9% [ 2 ]
Division 6
4%
 4% [ 1 ]
Division 7
0%
 0% [ 0 ]
Division 8
4%
 4% [ 1 ]
Division 9
4%
 4% [ 1 ]
Division 10
13%
 13% [ 3 ]
Division 11
30%
 30% [ 7 ]
Division 12
4%
 4% [ 1 ]
Division 13
17%
 17% [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 23
Forbidden Gates OST

Share | 
 

 Hitogoroshi

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Hitogoroshi

avatar

Rank : 3rd seat 8th division
Attack : 20
Defense : 15
Intelligence : 40
Posts : 73
Exp : 32758
Join date : 2011-02-15

PostSubject: Hitogoroshi    Sat Feb 19, 2011 1:44 am

Shinigami

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~General Information~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Hitogoroshi, Kami

Alias: Hito, or #361

Gender: Male

Age: 150

Visual Age: 26

Rank: 3rd seat

Division: 8th

Sexual Orientation: Gay

Extra Information:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Additional Information~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*This stuff is optional

Blood Type: A-

Family Members: N/A

Birth Date: 12-30-1861

Star Sign: Capricorn

Favorite Food: black tea

Least Favorite Food: strawberries

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Appearance~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

General Appearance:
Spoiler:
 

Hitogoroshi wears a long sleeve outfit covered in buckles, buttons, and extremely black, rough material. He wears brown reed jewelry on his ankles and wrists. with that, he wearing the standard hakama, zubi, and zori though never wears the top part of the hakama. He also wears a leather patch over his right eye which people say is just a ruse.

Reiatsu Color: electric blue

Height: 5'6''

Weight: 92

Body Type: beanpole

Extra Information: Hito's right eye is a robotic which can see in the dark and is able to see extremely fast movements. If used properly, hito can see shunpo and the hollow version as well.

The reason why he keeps a patch over it is due to the unbalance when they see together(the eyes). Either he has to keep his advantage hidden until it is absolutely necessary or he has to close his left eye for it to work. If he doesn't he will see "double" and it turns to be a disadvantage. Also, he can't use his eye unless in the darkness or it would blind both of them until the eye is covered and 3 posts have passed.

When he does close his left eye, he's able to track the movements of his opponents and keep up with them with ease. Also, seeing in the dark is no problem for him and eliminates the unbalance in his left eye. (since his left eye is diurnal.)

Hito's body has metallic body parts replacing the ones that he had lost during both the preliminary and main phase of experimentation. His left arm, right leg, upper chest and lower back are all metallic and is stronger than his own skin even in contact with reiatsu. Though if he doesn't take care of his parts he will suffer rusting, slow movements, frost bite, and extreme pain in certain degrees of weather and instances. Though he regularly paints his metal parts the same color as his skin, though it peels off when not changed properly.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Persona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personality:

Mission:

His main mission and concentration of thought is to excel at everything he is given. The reason why he was made and raised was to serve the seireitei and the gotei 13. Personally, he thinks of this as the only thing he knows and prefers it that way. His life may be full of insecurities, questionable behavior, and mystery to other people, but his goal is clear to him. No matter what happens in any circumstance he will always fall back on the rules that he was given.

1. to survive and gather any information needed
2. prioritize his mortality to benefit the seireitei
3. the orders of the 12th captain is higher than any other
4. follow the gotei 13 rules when necessary

Learning:

As a silent man, Hito hardly socializes with anyone. When he does he ends up either distancing himself or causing problems for others. The only people he prefers to be around are the people he was ordered to stay with or a few select shinigami that intrigues him. The way he learns how to talk to people and to do things in general is to stalk them and write down whatever they do in a small black book. His deduction skills are unrivaled in the seireitei and has turned down several offers to be in the 12th division.

Will:

Whatever Hito doesn't need to do, he refuses to take any part in. If someone was burning alive in a hospital with 60 babies strapped to their back and a tankful of gasoline as their hiding place he would simply watch them burn. Using the flames to boil water for his tea and their dead carcasses as kindling. At the moment he has no will to live, no will to fight, and no will to do anything but what he was ordered to do.

Fighting:

When it comes to defending the Gotei he has no problems fighting off hollows and Riokas. He trains alone where he knows no one can see him and keeps everything a secret. He is a cold-hearted psychopath when it comes to fighting. He likes to think that everyone trusts him to take out the tough ones and to clean up, but in reality they have none of that kinship. People think of him as what he was designed to be: a killer. Though he is oblivious to that fact completely.


Likes: Following and staring at people, or spending his spare time going over his notes.

Dislikes: People talking directly at him, people looking him in the eye, and being in crowds.

Goals: To get through his life and die honorably.

Insecurities: That he would be found out.

Fears: That people would find out how he was created and that he would wake up and find that he never left that cell.

Strengths: Spying, speed, and deduction

Weaknesses: Socializing, strength, and ethics

Phobias: N/A

Extra Information:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~History~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bio:

arc - life and death

Hito was born in Britain in the 1800's during the great industrial revolution for both Europe and America. Not long after his 5th birthday he died in a sewing mill by getting his foot stuck in the weaver. No one missed him, due to the fact that his parents were already dead four months ago.

arc - rukongai

Hito wandered the winter streets until a man in black took him away. As he grew up in the rukongai he learned about the Shinigami and the Seireitei. Unlike most of the people in the rukongai, he didn't wish to be a shinigami. He would watch them occasionally going about to their missions, always looking like they were worried or angry about something.

He was a normal child in the rukongai, level 50. He lived in a house with four other people and as he grew older he began to work as a simple entertainer. Doing flips and jokes for the little ones. The only serious trick he learned was how to be a fire eater. Later he started to feel something other than being thirsty and recognized it as becoming a shinigami. He tried to hide it for years until his close friends found out. They smiled and ushered him to join the academy and send them back fancy clothes. As the pushover he was, he joined.

arc - academy

As he joined the academy, he was placed at the lowest. Many people deemed him 'watery' and 'unreliable' due to his lack of willpower. What he couldn't understand is that why was his zanpakutou look as if it was in it's release state while everyone else's is normal. None the less he kept it by his side as he studied. He was an expert at the books, good at bakudou but needed work on his basic training on hand-to-hand and swordsmanship.

After his first and second year, he worked as hard as he could to get into the gotei 13. Soon people who thought he was watery, looked at the electricity sparking in his once deadened eyes. This was because his sword had released in the second year and was always talking to him, even when they were far away from each other. It coached him to work hard, to fight, to destroy. Later on, it would teach him to kill.

arc - creation:

Hitogoroshi was created after a large battle against arrancar and shinigami. So many lives were lost in that senseless battle that the shinigami count was nearly 3/5ths of it's origional size. Unbeknownst to them however, the 12th division had saved several lives. Lives that they planned not to release back into the light.

The main reason for this was to create the "perfect soldier" in which to replace most shinigami with. One of those was Hitogoroshi. He was nearly 3 days out of the academy before being sent to die. he was now within the dark cell of the seireitei itself with many others.

Those people and him were constantly tested, tortured, and when their will or body broke; they were cut up for scraps. There was nothing that Hito could do. His sword was taken from him when he was placed in here, and was being tested also for the new Hitogoroshi. Soon, there were only a dozen of them to use for the testing. The head officer deemed them fit enough to go through the main experimentation process.

arc - submission

Hitogoroshi and a few others were then operated on and combined with hollow parts from the war and sewed onto his body. When he awoke from the surgery, he found that he was at the bottom of a pit with the top closed off. It was completely dark and all he could feel was cold bodies around him. The officer's voice was coming from an intercom. " Your normal life awaits you. You just have to fight for it."

Hito's bandaged, bloody body was on fire and he could barely stand. Let alone fight. Though he didn't know it was the same for the rest. In the end, he finally destroyed all of his enimies by ripping off his bandages and using his new ability. He now had an eye which could see in the dark and break down movements for him. Though he was so scared in losing his life, it wasn't until he succeeded in killing all of them before realizing that they were his cellmates. All of them bloody and disfigured from the same operation he went through. His eye went dim, his will finally broken.

arc - work

He was then submitted back into the Seireitei and greeted like a war hero. Everyone but the 12 division didn't know about what really happened. Hito wore a black slim long sleeve shirt with a long collar. He also wore an eyepatch over his robotic eye. He was placed as third in the 8th division. Not even his captain whom he had to follow knew about the experimentation.

Every day he would wake up from his bunk in night sweats, afraid that he was still in that dark cell, destroying his friends. The people whom had kept him sane through out the whole nightmare. Soon he was given secret missions that he would fulfill quietly. He would kill certain people who found out or clean up loose ends for someone. Either way, his zanpakutou was thrilled to see Hito turn into a senseless murderer, his muddled eyes witnessing every drop of blood fall on his deformed hands.

There was only one face that he remembered in all of those murders. Though he never knew the name. The face was a bright new shinigami whom was looking into the missing persons case during the war. Unlike hito, he was earnest and never backed down from anything. Hito had to follow him before killing him. even though the boy didn't know who he was, he thought that they would've been friends if things turned out differently.

Hito then slit the boys throat with his sealed zanpakutou, and burning the wound in the man's neck with matches to remove the trace of his blade. No one would notice his reiatsu either, due to the fact that his reiatsu is different from the one they have on record, let alone that the people who would research was the one who ordered him to kill every single person who stood in their way. As he looked at the blank body of the person he once admired, he noticed he wore reed jewlery and had once spoke about them to a friend. They were reminders to him that he had friends outside of the gotei. Hito's eyes lit up once more, remembering the faces of his friends who wanted him to excel. So Hito stole them off the boys corpse and placed them on his own, remembering that he will talk to his old friends soon... if they were still alive.


Last edited by Hitogoroshi on Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:24 pm; edited 17 times in total
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Marcus
Admin
avatar

Rank : Cero Espada
Attack : 75
Defense : 70
Intelligence : 35
Posts : 178
Exp : 122573
Join date : 2011-02-08

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Sat Feb 19, 2011 4:55 am

Aloha, I'm Marcus, the friendly neighborhood global mod, and I'll be giving your profile it's initial grading today. Mind you, I'm very forward for the single purpose so that you know exactly what I'm asking for.

*cracks knuckles*

Let's get to it.

1) Visual Age: You have the full date of birth listed here, not the actual visual age, please fix this.

2) Date of Birth: Please include the full DOB

3) Appearance: The picture itself is...alright, but, it's not a full body and I personally can't get a good feel for how the character looks as a person from it and the written description isn't very elaborate either. So, I'd definitely recommend you go back and beef this up in length and depth. Remember key things such as his face (does he have a strong jaw, thin nose, cocked ears, etc?) how he carries himself, etc. Little things like that turn into a surprisingly large section that let folks know exactly who their character is looking at.

4) Hollow eye: Honestly, I can't really look at this as a legitimate addition for the character for the simple fact that, there's no real canon information that tells us that hollow see better in the dark, watch speed movements better etc. It also comes across as a little bit of a godmod capability because of how you describe it to be something he can use to easily discern the movements of others (tying into the above statement already). I'll ask that you remove this.

5) History: I'm going a little out of order here, but that's because it ties in closely with the above mention of the hollow eye. Generally speaking, it would be impossible for somebody to "create" a shinigami, much less one out of hollow nature and fake souls. A shinigami is nothing more than a single plus soul with a higher than average reiatsu than the souls around themselves while they're in Soul Society and they are then trained to become shinigami.

To tie into this, the history is, altogether, extremely short and not all that descriptive. It doesn't really define the character, it only gives small tid bits of information that still don't contribute to his definition as a being. It's the history of a man that shapes him, and, to be frank (not insulting), the only shape I'm seeing is a bit of a blob.

6) Grammar: Yes, I am a bit of a grammar nazi. I definitely recommend you go back through the profile and correct the many various errors. Sorry, but, how it's written is very difficult to read, and seeing as how profiles are everybody's reference source when dealing with your character, they need to be able to read it easily. I'd recommend just going through once or twice over again after you've fixed the above notations and fix what errors you find.

Once all of these are done, feel free to post again with an update so that I can check the profile over again.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Hitogoroshi

avatar

Rank : 3rd seat 8th division
Attack : 20
Defense : 15
Intelligence : 40
Posts : 73
Exp : 32758
Join date : 2011-02-15

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Sat Feb 19, 2011 2:08 pm

Wasn't really finished. Should've put a [wip] on it... also the admin said I could be an experiment and have the eye.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Marcus
Admin
avatar

Rank : Cero Espada
Attack : 75
Defense : 70
Intelligence : 35
Posts : 178
Exp : 122573
Join date : 2011-02-08

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Sat Feb 19, 2011 5:39 pm

I spoke to Escher about what you said. He never agreed to a half-shini half-hollow like what you've presented or to having an eye to such a level. He also said that, for anything close to what you're going for he told you that you'd have to go very in depth to the approach and explanation for it to even be considered.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Hitogoroshi

avatar

Rank : 3rd seat 8th division
Attack : 20
Defense : 15
Intelligence : 40
Posts : 73
Exp : 32758
Join date : 2011-02-15

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Sat Feb 19, 2011 6:20 pm

Relook it. I did. Also, this is still W.I.P. I hope you understand that.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Hitogoroshi

avatar

Rank : 3rd seat 8th division
Attack : 20
Defense : 15
Intelligence : 40
Posts : 73
Exp : 32758
Join date : 2011-02-15

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Tue Mar 01, 2011 2:48 pm

I removed the WIP, also may you just approve it without the picture? It's going to be a little while until I can find an adequate scanner.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Escher
Admin
avatar

Rank : Primera Espada
Attack : 76
Defense : 56
Intelligence : 10
Posts : 334
Exp : 102580
Join date : 2011-01-26
Location : Tennessee

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:46 am

Denied

I told you at the beginning hito that I wouldn't accept a half-hollow character. Hollow reiatsu is POISON to a shinigami. You would be torn apart. I'll say it again though, I don't care to have you being an experiment but a half hollow shinigami is unacceptable. I also don't mind if the eye is robotic or something as long as its not HOLLOW.
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://forbiddengates.my-rpg.com
Hitogoroshi

avatar

Rank : 3rd seat 8th division
Attack : 20
Defense : 15
Intelligence : 40
Posts : 73
Exp : 32758
Join date : 2011-02-15

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Thu Mar 03, 2011 4:01 pm

Well aint that be damned. I'll put up the WIP and work on it.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Hitogoroshi

avatar

Rank : 3rd seat 8th division
Attack : 20
Defense : 15
Intelligence : 40
Posts : 73
Exp : 32758
Join date : 2011-02-15

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Thu Mar 03, 2011 5:23 pm

Done.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Marcus
Admin
avatar

Rank : Cero Espada
Attack : 75
Defense : 70
Intelligence : 35
Posts : 178
Exp : 122573
Join date : 2011-02-08

PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    Fri Mar 04, 2011 10:08 pm

Right, grammar is still a bit of an issue, but, that's negligible I think at this point.

Provided you not overplay the robotic eye.....


Approved!

Level 10
Back to top Go down
View user profile
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Hitogoroshi    

Back to top Go down
 
Hitogoroshi
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Bleach: Forbidden Gates :: Creation Center :: Character Creation :: Shinigami-
Jump to:  
ChatBox
Free forum | © phpBB | Free forum support | Contact | Report an abuse | Free forum