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 Uido-Tsukurite

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Hiei



Rank : Commander of The Masked
Attack : 80
Defense : 40
Intelligence : 0
Posts : 41
Exp : 121124
Join date : 2011-02-10

PostSubject: Uido-Tsukurite    Wed Feb 16, 2011 10:50 am

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Spirit~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Name: Uido-Tsukurite (Widow Maker)

Visual Age: Unknown. Visual age could range between twenty and fifty years old depending on who looks upon it.

Looks:
Spoiler:
 
Uido-Tsukurite is an astonishingly strange creature, looking more like it came out of a horror movie than anything. In size, it appears to be slightly larger than the average human. Its 'skin' is a bright white tone, with several pieces of red covering small sections of his body. Most notably, his jaw. His blood red jaw makes it appear like he has recently feasted off of some form of living creature. The jaw is the largest part of his head, reaching out a good foot and a half and almost looking like a tongue when his mouth opens. When closed, his face still looks monstrous, but it is at least in proportion. On his neck, a large red orb pulsates as he moves. An apparent weak point.

He appears to be well toned, at least as toned as such a creature can get. Because of this it shows that he is well physically prepared for anything. When standing on his hind legs, onlookers would notice his distinct humanoid shape. This is only altered by the addition of an extra pair of arms. The second pair of arms also have an arm attached to the joint of each, giving a spider-like look to him. At the end of each limb is a claw. These claws are able to produce a black, sticky web in order to catch people off guard. He is incredibly flexible, and is often seen hanging from a ceiling looking down on the ground.

His eye's are almost too small for his head, appearing as two small orbs on either side of his face. Glowing in a red tint, his eye's can be seen through even the darkest of shadows. His mouth is covered in incredibly small teeth, capable of ripping flesh from bone as if it was nothing.

Habits: The only real habbit Uido-Tsukurite has is that he licks his face when communicating, and during battle.

Inner World: The inner world of Hiei is a truly strange and frightening place to be. His is simply a large mansion, a large mansion with a difference. The walls are covered in black ooze, almost tar-like in appearance. There are many picture frames in the building, however, there is not a single picture in any of them. There is also a considerable amount of mirrors, yet each is so covered in dust that nobody could see their reflection. As you enter further into the building, the black ooze begins to appear in larger amounts, before entering a den of sorts. Within this Den there is the most ooze, and what appears to be Uido-Tsukurite's favorite place within the entire building. Blood stains cover the entire Den, which Uido-Tuskurite appears to have claimed to be the scars Hiei has gained in battle while they have been assisting one another.

Connection to Master: Hiei's relationship with Uido-Tsukurite is odd at best. They appear to have a 'partner'-like relationship, although they appear to be more likely to abuse each other than get along. This abuse, however, appears to be almost like banter to get Hiei in the mood for a battle. During the rare time Hiei may use his Zanpakuto, he and Uido-Tsukurite constantly speak to one another. Once Bankai is used, Hiei uses his communication with Uido-Tsukurite to create the effects he desires without the need to speak. They work well together, that much should be said.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Sealed~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Type: Wakazashi

Camo: None

Looks: In the sealed state, this Zanpakuto appears as a Wakazashi of only thirty centimetres in length. This makes it appear almost dagger like, an ideal tool for Assassination. Unlike most Zanpakuto, Uido-Tsukurite's hilt is red in color, with a ribbon of red fabric hanging from the bottom. It is around three centimetres thick, and forty in length. The blade is slightly thinner than most of its length.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Shikai~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Release Phrase: Wana, Uido-Tsukurite (Snare, Widow Maker)

Looks:
Spoiler:
 

Upon using his initial release, Hiei's Zanpakutou changes from a Wakazashi into a series of four armor rings, each attached to one another like a knuckle duster. These are silver in color, with several jagged ends around each joint. However, they are designed in such a way to never cause discomfort for the user. While the entirety of the top half of each finger is covered, the bottom of each is always on show. A talon-like spike hangs forward on top of each finger, allowing for eight points on his right hand which could cause additional damage.

Element: Reiatsu

Special Ability: Although the appearance suggests otherwise, Uido-Tsukurite's ability is strangely very tactical. When it is released, eight pieces of near-invisible silk begin to grow from the tip of each finger. This silk is coated in a sticky residue which appears to only affect who the user wants it to affect. The silk is so strong, that when it comes into contact with a target it can cause cuts, and on significantly weaker targets even kill. However, the main use is simple: Control.

By manipulating these strings of silk with the talon-like claws above each finger, the user can entrap a target if need be. As well as this, they can they a series of traps, or even restrict the movement potential of an opponent. As such, this Zanpakutou's ability is to prevent an opponent from being able to have free movement, and making battle that bit more painful.

Techs:

Name: Supaida-Amimono (Spiderweb)
Description: By manipulating the silk, the user can produce a spiders web of sorts. The eight strands of silk will form a perfect circle, and link to random points. Because of this, it appears to mimic the design of a classic spiders web. This sits on the floor around the user, up to a fifteen meter radius. If the opponent was to tread on the web, they would undoubtedly be stuck for a short while. This essentially prevents the enemy from touching the floor.
Duration: 3 posts
If the web is touched, the opponent is stuck in that position for the duration of one post.
If stronger than Hiei by one level, the opponent has a good chance of being able to break free.
If stronger by two levels, they can easily break free.
For each three levels lower than Hiei, increase the 'stick' duration by one post.
Cooldown: 4 posts

Name: Uido-Etoku (Widow's Grasp)
Description: This technique requires contact to activate. This essentially makes the technique need to be used as a surprise attack, as it isn't the fastest of techniques either. Upon activation, the silk reaches out at the opponent, attempting to grab them. If the target is fast enough, they may be able to dodge this, causing the technique to be used when the opponent is least expecting it. If a single line of silk touches the target, the rest wrap around them. The continue to wrap around until the target is completely covered, even spinning the target to cause a complete cover. This is the first function of this technique, to obtain and hold the opponent. By manipulating the silk string, the user can increase how tightly this wraps around the opponent. The second function: To crush.

This technique is very difficult to break out of from the inside, however, outside forces can easily break it open to release the target.

Depending on the strength of the opponent compared to Hiei, the effects may be slightly different.
If weaker than Hiei by two or more levels, the opponent would have to use proportionally more energy to escape
If weaker than Hiei by one level, there is almost no noticeable difference. (Able to break free with great effort)
If stronger than Hiei by one level, there is almost no noticeable difference (Able to break free with moderate effort)
If stronger by two levels, the opponent is able to break free with general effort (Not too hard, not too easy).
If stronger by three levels, breaking out is easy.
Duration: Initial grasp: 1 - Trap: 3
Cooldown: 3 posts

Name: Katsu (Rip)
Description: By cutting the silk attached to one of his fingers, he can create a thin line of silk attached from one wall to another. It can range up to fifteen meters in length. This silk has the same properties as the Shikai ability, in that it will cause the target to be stuck if they touch it. Can be used up to four times until a cooldown of two posts, in which time no abilities can be used. The more this technique is used, the more powerful it becomes. It is also more effective in smaller area's, essentially creating a spiders den if used enough. Creates two lines of silk per use.
Duration: Until touched
Trap Duration: One Post
Cooldown: Can be used four times until a 2 post cooldown.
This technique does not change depending on the opponents power level.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~Bankai~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Release Phrase: Ban-Kai, Dansu-ichi: Uido-Kouza (Ban-kai, Dance one: Widow Chair)

Looks: Hiei's Bankai is considerably different from most Zanpakuto. It appears to have no solid state, and can change from one state to another. In it's original state, it appears as a large amount of black ooze.

Element: Reiatsu

Special Ability: When Bankai has been activated, the armor-ring's that he wields shatter, turning into a huge amount of black ooze. The black ooze initially shares the same properties as the silk from Shikai, but at a much larger scale. Touching the ooze can cause the opponent to be stuck on it.

Hiei can utilize three different states once Bankai has been activated. Each has different properties, but essentially shapes the Ooze in different ways. Different forms appear to have different levels of 'sticking' capabilities, ranging from extremely high to non-existent. Damage is increased proportionally as sticking capabilities reduce. Changing states is a one way path, meaning that going from one to another is an important decision that is not to be taken lightly.

Techs:

Name: Dansu-ichi: Uido-Kouza (Dance one: Widow Chair)
Description: This state is the first that the Bankai enters, and is initiated upon use of Bankai. Upon using Bankai, the user leans back and falls. Before they hit the ground, the ooze appears beneath them and picks them up. It then forms into a chair, a chair that could almost be mistaken for a throne. Eight large ooze tentacles then reach out from the chair, revealing the first state. The tentacles measure around ten meters in length each. The users hand sits inside the arm of the 'throne', allowing them to control the ooze tentacles with their mind. The tentacles primary function is to grab the opponent, and keep them restrained, allowing for the user to use Kido while they are trapped. The first state is the most strategic of all the forms of the bankai, and has the strongest 'sticking' power of all the states. It's damage is also almost non-existent, and must rely on the user using Kido to deal any real damage.
Rules:
If touched by a tentacle, stuck for two posts.
Tentacle can be broken the same post contact has been made. To do so, the target should simply release a large amount of Reiryoku and use it in an energy attack, be it kido or Cero, or something of that nature. This would eventually ware an opponent down, revealing the main use for this 'dance'.
If tentacle is hit by an 'energy' attack the tentacle reforms after 3 posts.
Must have been in Dance One for three posts to enter Dance Two.
If stronger than Hiei by one level, reduce the duration of the stick to one post.
If weaker than Hiei by three levels, increase duration by one post.


Name: Dansu-Ni: Uido-Tsume (Dance two: Widow Claw)
Description: Upon activating this Dance, the chair and all its tentacles disappear before forming into a large claw on the users dominant hand (Right hand in the case of Hiei). The claw reaches out around forty centimetres. Each finger looks like a larger version of the Shikai state, however, it appears to constantly be leaking a black ooze, making the claw seem to have no real shape. However, each individual finger of the claw is clearly sharp, and meant to cause harm. Upon hitting the opponent, the black ooze sticks to their body. After three hits, the ooze will grip hold of one of the opponents limbs and stick it towards the ground. The damage in this form is considerably higher than an unarmed blow from the user, and can cut through Espada skin (Or Equivalent rank).
Rules:
After three hits, the target is stuck for one post.
Cannot return to State One.
Must have been in Dance Two for three posts to enter Dance Three.
Black Ooze Grab can be broken by a strong melee attack, and is resilient to 'energy' based techniques.
For every two levels higher than Hiei, add one to the amount of hits required for 'stick'

Name: Dansu-Mi: Uido-Nekkuresu (Dance Three: Widow Necklace)
Description: The final state of the Bankai. This state completely sacrifices the ability to 'stick' the target. When activated, the claw shatters, before the ooze hardens into eight, twenty centimetre in diameter orbs. These orbs appear to be controlled by the Reiryoku of the user. When activated, the color of the users Reiatsu engulfs the orbs. These orbs can then be used as a whip, the Reiryoku controlling them appearing to solidify to create this effect. They can also be fired one at a time, however, each time doing so decreases the range of the whip. This is the most devastating of all three states in terms of pure damage, but it has little to no strategic value.
Rules:
Cannot return to State One or State Two.
If an orb is fired, it becomes Cero-like. Upon contact, be it with an opponent or the floor, the orb explodes. This is akin to a pure blast of condensed Reiryoku, thus the Cero comparison. The orb never returns. Using the firing ability eight times will end the Bankai.
Orbs can only be fired once every two posts.

Damage:
If one level weaker than Hiei, the damage of the whip is impressive, and the orb firing is considerably damaging.
If the same level as Hiei, the damage of the whip is stronger than that of the claw, and the orb firing is around the damage of a Gran Ray Cero from an Espada at his level.
If one level or more higher than Hiei, the damage of the whip is about average for a Bankai, and the orb firing is about as powerful as a strong Cero.


Last edited by Hiei on Mon Feb 28, 2011 2:58 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Hiei



Rank : Commander of The Masked
Attack : 80
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Posts : 41
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Join date : 2011-02-10

PostSubject: Re: Uido-Tsukurite    Sat Feb 26, 2011 8:36 pm

Done...
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Yokkyu Fuman



Rank : 2nd Squad Captain
Attack : 70
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Join date : 2011-03-05
Location : Squad 2 Barracks

PostSubject: Re: Uido-Tsukurite    Tue Mar 08, 2011 4:24 pm

Nicely put together, and a few things I find wrong with this, mainly in its techs and abilities.

First off, your Shikai Ability - the silk is nearly invisible, with a sticky residue that only affects those the master wants it too. This, according to you, is used to control, whether it be by trapping an opponent or using the sticky residue to cut. The thing with that is, it's not really fair. Nearly invisible - only some characters can fairly see it, and if they do or not, it'll only work if you will it to be so. And if you so happen to want it to be so, then it can either trap or cut an opponent. Trapping and cutting are two different things. Silk is soft and smooth, not like fishing like which if enough friction is present on a body can cut a thin line in one. Sticking to somebody and trapping them, while also cutting them when there's a sticky residue present just doesn't add up.

-Make it more visible
-Choose between using this silk-like substance as a means of trapping an enemy or cutting them. Cutting and trapping are two different things.
-How exactly is it controlled from your fingers? What must you do? How does the silk move from place to place, or does it stay still?
-From reading the last paragraph thing of the shikai special ability, it seems as though it's more to trap and to restrict, so cutting a long with it seems less likely.
-How much slack can be present on the silk if one gets caught in its range? Just how much does it restrict their movements?
-Can one cut themself free of it?

For your spiderweb tech...

-Are they stuck if they do nothing? Could one use their sword to cut themself free, seeing as a blade can easily pass through silk.

For your Widow Tech

-Maybe not a single thread touching them. Because for one single thread to touch them , that is very likely. Maybe make the touched-requirement a bit higher before the rest will cover the rest of the opponent.
-How will kido effect your silken web? Will kido make it any easier to break free of? (Not really kido, but any reiatsu-based attack such as Cero, Bala etc etc)

and your Rip Tech

-I can't understand it becoming stronger the more it's used. In Bleach, it takes energy to perform shikai techniques, so logically it would be weaker the more you use it. Because the more you use it, the more energy it takes, and the more energy it takes, the less you have, the less you have the more fatigued you are, the more fatigued you are, the weaker you and your techniques are... right?

Bankai time.

Bankai Special Ability

-Why is changing bankai states so important? What makes it important?

Techniques

-For your first technique, your First Dance: You're sitting in a throne. I'm assuming this means, aside from your tentacles that can be fended off with kido and energy and do little damage, you must stay in that chair and rely on your kido for damage? As in - you're stuck in that chair until that technique ends and you move on to another?
-Add a duration for this technique, it's powerful. (Likewise, add a cooldown)

Second tech

-If it's leaking the ooze that makes it what it is, then eventually the claw would be reduced to nothing, especially after a few collisions which would knock the ooze to and fro.
-Seeing from what is said right above this, add a cooldown and duration.

Third tech

-For the damage, increase the levels needed for it to be 'impressive'. One level below you is too close for there to be too much of a change.


Overall

-Mainly for the requestion of durations and cooldowns. You have powerful techniques, especially in bankai. In your bankai you say you must be in the "dances" for X number of posts before you can go into the next dance. This means if you're satisfied with the results of one dance, you can continue, which isn't really logical or fair. There should be a limit on each dance in bankai before something negative happens. Techniques don't last forever, and especially with the powerful ones, they take some time to be able to be used again.

There we are, edit all above and then we'll talk.
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