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What is your favorite anime division?
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Division 2
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Division 3
4%
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Division 4
0%
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9%
 9% [ 2 ]
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4%
 4% [ 1 ]
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Division 8
4%
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Division 13
17%
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 Jor'lo Dosene

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Jor'lo Dosene



Posts : 5
Exp : 23921
Join date : 2011-03-07

PostSubject: Jor'lo Dosene   Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:00 pm

Shinigami

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~General Information~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Name: Dosene, Jor'lo

Alias: Jor

Gender: Male

Age: 635

Visual Age: 29

Rank: Captain

Division: Third Division

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Extra Information: (optional. Things that didn’t go into the other categories would go here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Additional Information~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*This stuff is optional

Blood Type: O+

Family Members: Sisiter, Deseased

Birth Date: 10/03

Star Sign: Libra

Favorite Food: Ice Cream is his favorite food. This is due to the amount of time he spends in the cold, and due to the amount of immunity he has to it. He especially likes it when it is hot, so he does not over heat.

Least Favorite Food: There is not really any food he does not like. Yet, at least. He does not eat much in general, and that amount has conciderately lessened since he became a Captain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Appearance~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

General Appearance: Jor'lo looks like a young man, he has mostly black hair, a nice complection, thin but fit body, and tall. But his appearance can be described in depth. Starting with his hair. He keeps it short, not military style, but not long enough to cover his ears. It's black, except for the outer edges of it. These have turned gray. He is still not exactly sure himself i this is due to old age, or to stress from his many years of training.

He is six feet, two inches tall, give or take an inch. Most of his height is in his legs, with each coming to around three and a half feet in length. His arms are a little long for his height, at around three feet, three inches long each. He is muscular, but not overly so. With his legs being around seven inches in diameter and his arms being around four. His hands are large, but slender. They look fit to hold a sword, but they are flexible enough to fight better without one.

His torso, from waist to the base of his neck, is one foot, ten inches long, and two and a half feet wide. He has a six-pack abs, but no pecks. The fighting style he uses does not work with pecks, they would only hinder his flexibility. His shoulders are a little wider than his torso, at two feet, eight inches apart from tip of shoulder to tip of shoulder. On his back right shoulder he also has the tatoo of a white tiger, to simbolize ferocity.

His face is young from a distance, but up close you see it's true colors. Up close you can see that he has wrinkles, mostly on his brow from furrowing it in concentration, and a scar over his right eye from a battle long ago. He is slightly tanned from his many days meditating in the sun, and he has a broad, but not jutted out, chin. His eyes are dark brown, but with that quality of someone wise. He has no facial hair, as he thinks that it would only distract him trying to maintain it.

He wears the usual Captains Haori and the Shinigami Kimono.

Reiatsu Color: A light, watery blueish-green. Like the color of the ocean.

Height: 6' 2"

Weight: 186

Body Type: Fit, slightly muscular, but not overly so.

Extra Information: He wears a neclace with the Celtic symbol for Warrior on it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Persona~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Personality: Jor'lo has a calm and relaxed attitude, he does not believe in rash actions. Jor'lo would rather sit and listen in a conversation then actually contribute to it. The only thing that does make him very rash, and very angry, is when his freinds get hurt. Jor'lo does not have a problem getting in a fight, but he preffers not to. He would rather talk out his problems, or if that was not possible, simply destroying his enemy before they had a full blown fight. His commrads say that while he is calm, he is also fierce when he needs to be.

Jor'lo is a great thinker, his strategy's have been called some of the best the Soul Society have seen in a long time. He looks at a fight the same way as he would a chess game, always three moves ahead of the opponent. While this does help him often, it does make him vulnerable to an unpredictable opponent. He doesn't know how to fight someone he can't predict, he is too used to being able to use a strategy.

Though Jor'lo may not speak much, when he does his words are always profound, always wise. He is a great speaker, when he needs to be. This earns him much respect in the Soul Sociaty. While his words may be wise, his actions are not as wise when he can't control his emotions. When he is in the middle of a fight, be it one on one or an all out war, he looses control. He fights without restraint, but still with some semblance of strategy.

Likes: Strategy. This is due to his great wisdom and brain power. Strategy comes to him like swimming comes to a fish, easy. Yes, strategy is the main thing he thinks of before a fight. In fact, sometimes it is the main thing he thinks of period.

Dislikes: Fire. It destroys, and for it is hot. Not a good combination for Jor'lo, or his Zanpakto. Especially when he is near it, for it melts his ice. Quickly.

Goals: To save his loved ones. He lost someone he loved once, he is not going to let it happen again. He will fight, train, and work until he can save everyone he loves from danger.

Insecurities: (optional)

Fears: Failure to protect his loved ones. Again, he lost someone close to him once. Never again. You may think this is sappy, but you wouldn't think that if you lost a sister.

Strengths: His strengths are speed and reiatsu. Speed because it takes much speed and agility to handle dual scimitars. Reiatsu because it also takes a lot of Reiatsu to control presipitation. These two are essential to his fighting style.

Weaknesses: Kido. Even though he has a lot of Reiatsu, he does not normally concentrate it into the use of Kido. Hence, he is not very good at it. Also, he is not very good working together with those he does not trust completely. Yes, he can still fight in a war, but if it was him and a rookie in the squad out on a scouting mission he would be voulnerable. Not gravely so, but enough that if he were up against someone of his strength or more he would be in trouble.

Phobias: (optional. A phobia is an unreasonable fear without an explanation. Example: “Bill has a phobia of spiders because he thinks that every time he sees one, he will die.” Phobias usually result in a panic attack when you are introduced to said thing)

Extra Information: (optional. Things that didn’t go into the other categories would go here)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~History~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bio: As Jor'lo awoke he looked around. He was in a town. Next to him was a girl, a younger girl, and, strangely, he knew her to be his sister. K.....Kahia. That was her name. And his was Jor'lo. All of a sudden he blacked out again. When he awoke the second time he did not see Kahia, but he did see a man. He said his name was Hakudoshi, and he was here help. He told Jor'lo to join what he called the Academy, but, sadly, Jor'lo declined. "Not without my sister." He said, then ran off to find her.

He searched for a hundred years, wandering the Rukongi looking for Kahia, he would not give up. He knew he would find her, if only because he knew he would not stop looking until he did. His search had given him a few leads, but they had all come up with nothing. He didn't know what to do anymore, he would continue to look, but where could he look that he hadn't looked already? He Had went everywhere in the rukongi, except for the bad part of town, where all the Soul Reaper-haters lived. It was his last chance, so he decided to go. As he walked over there he sensed someone following him, he figured it was nothing, just the jiters for going to the area that hates the very thing has wanted to become, so he didn't worry about it. As he continued to walk he started to see a figure lurking in the shadows behind him. Now he was on his guard, though he didn't show it. Jor'lo continued to walk but kept an eye out behind him. When the figure was no more than five feet away Jor'lo ducked behind an ally wall and waited As the person came around the corner Jor'lo tackled them, then his eyes widened when he saw who it was! As he ripped off the mask she was wearing he gasped, it was Kahia, she had found HIM. "K-kahia, I've been looking everywhere for you!" Jor'lo stammered as he got off of her. "I've looked for you for the last thousand years! where have you been?" As he said this he started to help her up from the ground. She looked at him and said, "I know, i have been following you for the last decade. I didn't aprouch you because.......I was afraid." Jor'lo was shocked. "Afraid? Afraid of what?" "That you would not remember me." She answered. Jor'lo laughed. "How could I not remember my own sister?" He said. They laughed, then hugged. Then, Jor'lo decided something. He was going to join the Shinigami academy, but he needed to hide his sister. So he found her a house, and left her. Left her with only the knowledge that he would be back, someday.

As he promised Hakudoshi he returned to the Soul Society at this time and went into the academy. In the academy his most prominent classes were sword-on-sword fighting, and tactics. Melee actually was his best class, the only instructors he couldn't beat in a sword fight by his graduation was the third seat of the eleventh and third squads. In tactics he exceled also, reaching co-top of the class by his graduation. His only problem was kido, he believed that kido was for weaklings who didn't want to get dirty sword fighting. So he kind of disapointed his instructors there, he only was able to do up to kido #29 by his graduation. One thing his instructors were very excited about though, he reached shikai very early in his instruction. It happened very weirdly, one day while in the middle of a spar between Jor'lo and the 9th division's third seat, someone he could not beat as of yet, Jor'lo heard a buzzing noise. He was losing, and he did not believe he had time to ponder it's sorce so he attempted to ignore it. But it was persistant. Finally, he allowed it to permiat his concious. All of a sudden, he was in the middle of a tundra. There in front of him was what looked like a man in a thick fur coat. As he walked forward he realized the man had twin scimitars by his sides, pointy ears, and, to his surprise, he was a deep, dark purple! "I am Icingdeath. I, am your Zanpakto spirit. I shall not stand by and watch you lose to this weakling. Use my power." And at that, he disapeared in a gust of frosty wind.

All of a sudden Jor'lo was back in the battle. It seemed as if no time at all had passed. He smiled, and whispered. "Freeze, Icingdeath." In the blink of an eye the surrounding area's temperature lowered. He could not feel it, but he could tell from the frost on the plants. He laughed, pointed his blade at the third seat, and attacked him. Not five minutes later, he had the officer on the ground, his blade on the officers neck, and he proclaimed, "Dead." Over the next few years he beat seated officer after seated officer. Finally, he got to graduation. His test? To fight the Lt. of the third division. The battle was brutal. It took a day and a half, they both were fatigued, but he did not give in. Finally, in one last burst of speed and strength, he won. Barely. He was then given the position of the opponent he deffeated. He was now the Lt. of the third division, and he could not be prouder. He then left for the Rukongai. It was time to see his sister. But there were some people who still hated Jor'lo, and all Soul Reapers. After all the long years Jor'lo was finally able to return to his sister, and they rejoyced. But it was at a price, for you see one of the people of the Rukongai, Dokatsu, hated Soul Reapers more than even hollows. And Dokatsu had followed Jor'lo from the gates that separates the Seireitei and the Rukongi distict. That night, Dokatsu did the one thing that would upset Jor'lo the most, he kidnapped Kahia. When Jor'lo found the note the next morning he knew exactly who it was from, and he knew Dokatsu's reiatsu too. He imediatly set off to find him. As he ran towards where the reiatsu signature was he could feel Kahia's signiture there too. Which only made him run all the faster. Finally he got there and burst through the door, and as soon as he did Dokatsu slit Kahia's throat, right in front of Jor'lo's eyes. Jor'lo screamed a primative scream of diffiance as Kahia fell to the ground, dead before Jor'lo's eyes. Jor'lo jumped into the air and launched himself straight at Dokatsu, all the while Dokatsu is laughing his head off. Jor'lo starts to carve up Dokatsu like a piece of meat, cutting off each limb and splitting his torso into four parts and, finally, cutting off the head. Jor'lo continued to fight, for he believes he is still alive because he can still hear the laughter, but it is only a echo in his head.

That day something died inside of Jor'lo. That day was the day that Jor'lo made a solum vow. That he would work as hard as he could to get stronger so that he can stop things like that from happening. He would become stronger so he could protect people like Kahia, so that he would never have to watch someone he cared for die like that again. So he went to work for the Soul Society, training, becoming stronger, and never forgetting his vow.

Jor'lo trained for another hundred years, mainly talking to his Zanpakto spirit, wanting more than anything in the world to achieve his goal: Bankai. Any other time he was training he trained his strenght, his reiatsu, his speed, and, despite his best judgement, his Kido power. He only trained Kido for one reason: to train himself to focus his reiatsu. Frustration was his enemy, and he had many bouts with that particular enemy. In fact, frustration almost made him quit training all together. He was working on a Kido spell. Yet every time he used it, it would backfire. In a fit of rage he threw up his hands, walked over to a rock, punched it, and it split in half. At that point he walked off the training field. For three days he did not step foot on the training field. Finally he came back. Once more he attempted the Kido, and once more he failed. But he did not get mad. He cleared his head, took a deep breath, and concentrated. For the first time in four days he felt accomplished. The spell worked. He laughed, and continued to train. But frustration was not his only enemy. Lack of ability was also a factor to his seemingly constant failures. At one point he attempted to fight the Lt. of the eleventh division. He failed, misurably. Day after day they fought, week after week, yet he could not beat him. It took him a full month, but he finally did it. But not by strength. No, by his speed and smarts. After an hour of fighting, he found a cave. There, in that cave, he trapped the Lt. He won by freezing the miousture in the cave, and by getting him to pass out. Quickly, he got the man out of there. After making sure he was safe, Jor'lo laughed. He did it, he won.

Finally, and, remarkably, he did it. He acheived Bankai. He was training with his Zanpakto, losing as usual, and finally he decided, he had had enough. He screamed, rushed at Icingdeath, and yelled at him. "Why?! Why will you not relinquish your full power to me?! I train, and I fight, and still you keep your power from me! Grrrrraaaaahhhh!!!!!!!!!" He screamed, and slashed down. And, for the first time, he made contact. He hit his Zanpakto, he struck a perfect X on Icingdeath's chest. "N-now.....Now you are ready....." And Jor'lo was back in his room. He did it, he acheived Bankai. He then rushed to the Captain Commander, kneeled in front of him, and announced that he would like to take the Captaincy test to become the Captain of the third division. Three days later, he was announced to the rest of the Captains as the newest Captain.


Last edited by Jor'lo Dosene on Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:59 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Yokkyu Fuman



Rank : 2nd Squad Captain
Attack : 70
Defense : 60
Intelligence : 0
Posts : 75
Exp : 84752
Join date : 2011-03-05
Location : Squad 2 Barracks

PostSubject: Re: Jor'lo Dosene   Sat Mar 19, 2011 11:14 pm

First things first, you should probably remove Rotoku's app, seeing as you wont be using him. NOW, to begin!

Starting from the top and working my way down, if you think my grading is unfair, then you thought wrong, because I am right and I will always be right. :DD Just kidding. But im most likely right :O

First
Hot Ice cream? Oh yummy yummy... xD Wouldn't it be kinda like thick, flavored milk? Haha.

Second
A 6'2" man, sort of muscular... that's me, give or take a few inches (as you know), and i'm fairly muscular, as well as skinny. And i'm 170. Weight isn't a big thing, but and up the weight a bit, make it around 180-190 due to the size of bones, as well as of "not overly-so" muscles.

Third
Unless you can come up with strategies almost nobody can beat or whatever, remove that bit from your personality.

Fourth
From your likes all the way to your weaknesses, put another sentence or so, just so it'll look a bit nicer, and more well-thought-out.

Five
I told you in person a hundred year time skip wouldn't be alright with me. Im not sure about Escher or Marcus, but a 100 year time skip is a bit big to skip. Just so you dont have to write up another whale, just add two more, good sized paragraphs, each being a 50 year mark to show his 100-year-long training.

Six
Hmm, the bankai will be a bit iffy. Im not saying you cant have bankai, but depending on how well you fix everything above, I may let you get away with the short bankai achievement section you had. So, that's a bit iffy.

center]Overall[/center]

*A few spelling mistakes, but nothing too much. Remember, it's spelt "Vulnerable" not "Volnerable".

*Add a few sentences to the indicated areas.

*Fix small things in your history (what I pointed out)

And that just about concludes it.
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Yokkyu Fuman



Rank : 2nd Squad Captain
Attack : 70
Defense : 60
Intelligence : 0
Posts : 75
Exp : 84752
Join date : 2011-03-05
Location : Squad 2 Barracks

PostSubject: Re: Jor'lo Dosene   Sun Mar 20, 2011 12:10 am

Hmm. Fine. I have empathy, and I suppose I can't be too strict. You have everything needed, but I would prefer more. But you did as asked, and it suffices.
Approved, Captain of Squad 3.
Level 25.
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